3 whole a** years

wow, bruh! i really just hit year 3 in the D! (that was a cute rhyme lol)

i can’t even begin to explain how God has kept me in the past three years. like, wow! He has truly used everything i’ve been through to teach and grow me into the human i am today. i know yall don’t think it was all me, but i just had to throw up another huge thank you because lawdhamercy, i ain’t think i was going to make it.

so my actual anniversary was july 18, but tbh, i wasn’t very happy at the time. i was very confused about nearly everything. love, work, purpose, side hustles, friendships, even food, lol. yall, i was going through itttttttttt. mercury was in microbraids or retrograde, depends on your twitter usage. i think the source of my episode was disappointment in myself. it’s natural to reflect on life once you hit anniversaries and other milestones, but i may have went a bit overboard. i started meditating on all the wrong things. the sentence, “i was supposed to gone by now, i didn’t think i’d still be here…what am i still doing here?” circled in my mind worse than a tornado funnel. nothing was stopping it…plus i kept it to myself for way too long. when i first moved here, i went through adjustment depression and anxiety in my new big girl corporate job because i was NOT fulfilled. it sucked. making friends was a struggle, let alone trying to continue modeling and the other artsy things that i love to do. because of all this, i had a clear vision of running away from all the problems…naturally, lol. year one…was a huge test to say the least. i think my biggest lesson was, in the words of Bey, “you can give your all and do everything right…and still fail.” which SUCKS, but it taught me to put less pressure on myself, but that’s obviously still an ongoing lesson. year 2 was very clearly the year i began to choose me, actively. year 3, i lived and am living OUT LOUD. i’m moving out of my own way, trying things i once thought i wasn’t worthy of, allowing myself to feel things (even though i’m still not a big fan, lol). each year in detroit has taught me so much about myself and continues to do so.

i now own property, support countless detroit owned business and even work for them, and i even have people in my circle that i can forever count on. i never thought any of these great things were possible, but detroit has pushed me in every way to become a better human to myself and others. i can’t thank the city enough.