wisdom, i guess

bruh, let me tell ya’ll about this crazy ass week!

well, wait a minute, thanks to everyone that checked on me & my little wisdom teeth.you’re very appreciated!

ok so now, back to this craziness. last week was great, it felt good to write again & upload some fire flames to my portfolio (s/o to my shooters!). at work, my group pretty much got disbanded, lol. we all got split up with new assignments & new managers…then when i officially met my new manager (who seems super cool thus far) he then told me that i’m going to be switched again to a new assignment. my natural reaction was just, “lol, ok bruh.” he laughed & said he liked my attitude, which made me smile from the inside because maaaaan it’s been a battle at work for the past 8 months. so after that little meeting, everything was chill, but then the friday happened, dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn. wisdom teeth extraction day!

typically, i’m not too shook when it comes to doctors…that’s a lie, i’m just an award winning actress when it comes to certain things that i absolutely have to do. ok, so boom, i roll up to the office, check in & sit it on down. i’m regretting not getting sushi the day before & not smiling more because who knows what these crazy people could fck up. i finally get called back into the room & they’re all like “heyyyy girl!” tbh, it was weird but i was trying to be nice, lol. (you know no one was black or even colored in the office) one of the 3 comes in & starts doing my blood pressure, but that took much longer than it was supposed to because the machine kept messing up, which raised my anxiety, but whatever. the creepy old white guy came in & spoke, gave me a run down & sat with me til i was all the way asleep. he was talking about my nails & how he couldn’t use a vein in my hand, to which i responded, “yeah, they typically use my arm.” next thing i know i was waking up. it felt like i nap i wasn’t supposed to take, like i was running late for something, idk. i was rushed up & made aware that they were done & that they were gonna get my chauffeur. he met me in some dimly lit room & i’m sure they were speaking english, but it all sounded like jello dripping to the floor. we left to go get the meds, which took five-ever! i actually think we went to 5/6 different pharmacies. by this time, pain was settling IN!…as was the uncontrollable drool & some random sad emotions because my mouth had been ripped apart. for the rest of friday, i just off & on slept.

saturday though, i woke up, still numb on the right side. something is eerily wrong. coincidentally, the doc called, i let him know i still couldn’t feel my mouth. this little thing caught an attitude with me AND my at home nurse. he slipped up & said, “idk it it’ll work, you should’ve called me yesterday.” i’m like BRUH, yesterday?! when i was drugged & completely incoherent? so then i hung up & started crying uncontrollably. idk, idk. so we finally get the info we needed, we realized that we couldn’t go to the same pharmacy as yesterday because that was a hospital pharmacy…so we tried cvs & cvs said the doc needed to call them…meaning we gotta talk to the this dentist again. i’m not sure what else happened because i was pretty drugged, but i know i took my locs out & that i had to take like 6 more pills that day. & these baby pills had some side affects, honey. the biggest one? grand ol depression. i legit cried & went silent til monday. i couldn’t stop apologizing, eating & crying. the thoughts were crazy & dark, all i could do was blame myself…i felt stupid & worthless. also, i had planned to return to work on monday, btw, obviously, i’ve been on the couch all week. it was so bad ya’ll. but now i feel better, still uncomfortable & in a bit of pain, but mentally, i’m fabulous.

i appreciate the people in my life so much because they kept checking up on me…even after i turned off my phone because conversing was just too much for me to handle. i even got quite a few blessings in the dark time as well, i’m sure there’s a message in that too! but anyways, i’m ok. still recovering, but slow progress is still progress.