still learning

fellowship is vital to uplifting spirits. there’s a difference between complaining to everyone & notifying your people that you’re going through something.

i relearned a few things today. i’ll share them with y’all because today has been a big turn around for me as far as moods go. i was feeling all sad & defeated because i haven’t yet received a few things that i want in life.

  1. a prison/negative perspective will always cause you to doubt your destiny (s/o to elevation church)

  2. life will always be just that, life…which is hella unpredictable AF

  3. you always have the tools you need, but you may not know how to use them

  4. actually admitting (out loud) that you have no friggin clue is a big part of the journey because it invites help

  5. i’ve survived every bad day i’ve ever had (s/o to Blk Girl Daily)

these things literally changed my perspective & helped me to believe in myself when i thought i wasn’t worthy of the things that i want. i thought once i graduated from therapy that it meant that i could handle whatever would be thrown at me as easy as breathing…i was hella wrong, lol. this week i remembered why i sought out help in the first place & that my popping therapist gave me the tools to conquer my anxiety & depression. it just extra sucks when the first tool doesn’t work, then the second tool ain’t working & then i just feel all defeated and fall back into the spiral of negative thoughts. but you knowspottie (the name i gave my negative thoughts), is getting kicked by suni AND marigold because i’m the sugar honey ice tea with a splash of raspberry. i needed the reminder, but i also needed to humble myself & remember that i don’t have to carry this burden all alone. i have people in my corner, i have me in my corner & i have God, i can’t lose…& if i do, then that’s just another lesson i needed to learn.