reboot & relax

life is so random, lol. jobs, people, events, blessings, and just about everything in life just happens. occasionally with influence from what you’re actually doing, but a lot of times without any say from you at all. i think that’s why it’s so important to be still and let God, the universe and whatever other forces are out there to just do their thing so i can just ride the wave. not gonna front, when i initially heard this advice and then kept hearing this advice, i was super duper against it! like all the stuff i have control over, i take pride in, but the things i want to happen and accomplish are going to take much more than what i can control to come together in a perfect recipe. plus, having to be in control of everything all the time is HELLA stressful! and just about every single time i would find myself throwing a huge tantrum because things slipped out of my control, which would almost always turn into an episode of depression and super negative thoughts about how i must not be worthy of the thing that i so desperately want, which couldn’t be further from the truth. i’m worthy of everything i want, but that doesn’t mean i’ll get it when i want it or that i’ll get it all. the not getting it at all still stings a bit, but when it does i just refocus on all that i currently have that i never really imagined having. i’m soooooooooo blessed and so are you! we just get too carried away with comparisons, wants and just being outright spoiled, lol. like every time we get a piece of candy or even better, money, we instantly want more. i guess that’s human nature, but being truly grateful for my current blessings is the icing of my life.

the refocus is literally my crutch in life right now. i’m still finding the balance between feeling my feelings all the way through and not denying or brushing them off, but for the most part i can just refocus or reboot my headspace to think myself happy af! i’m still on my positive porsha kick and tbh, it’s been great! i think i’m just intentionally breaking my negative and anxious habit, which is the definition of freeing! i still don’t have all the answers, but i feel better about me and my life and that’s all i really wanted. doing this small, but powerful thing helps my controlling self to relax, lmao. i think i’ve leveled up in my faith because i just keep reminding myself, “if He’s done it once, He can do it again.” especially since He’s been blessing things that i ain’t even ask for! and if that ain’t a good and country testimony right there, then idk what is!

quick life message that i recently learned: it’ll work out. just because you can’t see how it’ll work out doesn’t mean that it won’t.