please accept all the good feels that i have to offer.
ya’ll. i think i’m stable, lmao. i’m happy crying right now because it’s definitely been a wHile since i’ve been able to say that and actually mean it. i guess a little step away to just disconnect and relax was all i needed. *shrugs* and to the people that told me this, but i didn’t listen…my badness!
ok, so i know last week i said i was going to do some serious work to figure out what i wanted to do….i failed, lol. i don’t mean i failed at figuring it out, i failed at being focused enough to study the introspective questions. tbh, whenever i did try, something or someone would distract me, but i welcomed the distraction, of course. it’s ok, though, the questions of life that i have require huge answers and i’m not sure i can just command an answer to appear in my brain…because if i could, then i’d know already!
i’m at peace. i’m energized (i hit the gym twice in two days! who am i? i’m hurting soooo good right now, lol) my fridge is half stocked because ya know, pay day is on the way so my wallet is begging me to chill til friday. i did NOT go to starbucks today, even though, i had to be in the office by 7am and have to tutor young minds after work. OH! ya’llllllll, i’m a math tutor! *hairflips & adjusts glasses* i’m so excited, man! i get to show my love for math again outside of work and i get to help kids! what is better than that?! nothing, nothing at all.
everything’s not perfect. tbh, everything could probably be exactly the same as it was a few weeks ago, but my perspective is different! well, my perspective and all the healthier steps i’ve taken to ensure some endorphins flood my head. so, as painful as it sounds, get UP! get moving, eat something other than what can be delivered, meditate (aka sit in silence, i usually add yoga poses to help me concentrate), accept the bad and realize your badassness.
you are a badass boss who’s capable of the greatest things imaginable. i’m praying you realize it as i have.