just lmk

i'm human, af. i accept my mistakes once i understand them, at least. i know i'm not perfect, though, i still strive for perfection because i'm not satisfied with mediocrity nor am i about to let down the people in my life that have pushed me to be my absolute greatest, but at what cost? i've been doing a better job of not allowing others expectations of me supersede my own, but that's a constant battle, ya know? 

i think, well i know, that i overthink my mistakes and faults not because i wish they didn't happen, but because i don't want them to reoccur. obviously, i think i'm very understanding, but it's even been confirmed with more than half the people i meet plus a few personality tests i took. so boom! *screams* why is it so hard to tell someone (me) to what they've done wrong? 

i hate the “in between” time before i find out what i did, but i definitely do this to others so maybe that’s why it happens to me? idk. i attempt to give each discrepancy enough time for me to digest before i go blurting out what i don’t even mean…i guess that’s my whole strategy, i have to digest the issue before i can speak on it when it really gets under my skin because maaaaaan, if i respond in the moment, that could get very very wild and disrespectful. i’m working on gathering my thoughts & responses to wrongdoing in a respectful manner to also be in a timely manner or even in the moment, but i’m sure i’ll still have at least a 30min delay, lol. that’s just me tho! as for others, can yall please please tell me whatever i did before you just start acting differently? i can sense vibes and tension like no other so i’ll know something’s not right, i just won’t know what it is…& i’m a CHAMP of overthinking and i rather not start that snowball.

let’s grow together + try out different methods to ease the conflicts.