let’s talk about talking…
i wanted to say it that way because it sounded really cool, lol. seriously, though, we don’t discuss “talking” enough. it has sooo many meanings! but this week, i literally mean talking as in speaking in order to give information or express ideas or feelings; converse or communicate by spoken words.
i’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a little while because it’s always interested me. the words on chooses to communicate their thoughts and feelings are incredibly important because they frame the message the message they’re trying to deliver.
tbh, depending on my mood and some other factors, i talk way too much, lol, only to come back and give a concise and clear version of what i was trying to say, originally. it’s weird, but it often helps me to just ramble for a few minutes to get the thought as clear as it needs to be for someone else to understand. this method works for high pressure situations in my life especially when i’m trying to figure something out. every other minute before speaking i spend a considerable amount of time sorting out which words to use, depends on the audience, ya know? obviously, i can’t speak to my coworkers the same way i speak to my cousins, but i also don’t speak the same way to different groups of friends. i don’t change my message, but i do change the delivery.
let’s look this example, this is how i answer, “how are you?’
to friends on the outer ring, i’d say, “i’m alright, been a little down, but working through it.”
to friends on the inner ring, i’d say, “tbh, i think i’m going through a lot more than i want to talk about. i’m ok, i guess, but definitely not good.”
same message, but one is much more transparent than the other. even with my inner ring friends, i still meditate on my message before speaking, lol. i was telling my bestie about my granny being in the hospital, but i was talking way too quickly & i said, “my granny got her knee taken away.” we immediately burst out laughing because that doesn’t make sense & that definitely wasn’t the full story! i want to challenge everyone to focus on their message for an extra minute before you say anything. if it doesn’t help your lessen your misunderstandings and even arguments, then please let me know! (but i’m pretty positive it will!)
*bonus*
listen to understand, not to respond! take in and digest what the other person is saying and their full context before responding. I attended the Michelle Obama event and this is one thing was amplified throughout her message. if we understand the full story of a person we have a greater chance of understanding the true issue and resolving it!