i’m not even gon hold you, i’ve been putting in serious work! whether it’s been with my journals (that you should check out asap bc they’re almost gone & with this pandemic idk when i’ll do another shipment), my site updates, self portraits, writing in my own personal journal, cooking up the finest cuisines or actually working from my couch on my corporate stuff, I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON ME. & ohhhh, i major cleaned! but i need to do it again, lol. i just wanted my home and my talents to bring me the most peace during this time and for the most part they have…i’m not going to act like i haven’t had any down days because that would be a super mega bold face ass lie. the thing that’s keeping me going right now is that good ol saying, “this too shall pass.”
i was reintroduced to this proverb a few months ago and it really resonated because it’s so true. nothing, well most tings aren’t permanent so why hold so tightly instead of letting go. if you’ve been here, enjoying my diary for a while then you definitely know that letting go has never ever ever been my thing! whew chillay, i’m not even gonna go there, you’ll have to dip back into some of my old diary posts for that tea. for now, i’m trying to enjoy what i can and let go of what i can’t. since i can only control myself anyways, that’s my focus. if it’s or they not making me happy or feel peace, then it has to go. i’m my own priority.
that took a lot for me to writ, tbh. i feel like i’ve been practicing it for a while, but just now starting to really feel it. or maybe i’ve felt it before, but i let it slip away. either way i’m really happy that it’s back!
now for the real major thing that’s bothering me through this pandemic…the ignorance of what’s actually happening + i’m sooooo sad that i’m in detroit without any family. like checking in on my old peeps isn’t enough right now. i really want to just get in my jeep & do an east coast tour to see everyone…but then i get terrified that i may put them or myself in more danger and i back out. idk, i’m still thinking on it. but before you get too carried away with the ignorance comment, let me explain. i really don’t think it’s fair that the media outlets are updating the tolls of death like they’re collecting baseball cards. i hate that so much is still unknown and we’re waiting for it to be figured out with this looney individual that’s in the oval office. makes no sense. plus, some people are legit still partying and whatnot like it’s not real! and a real niggah is extra tired of cooking and washing dishes, lmao. not. a. fan.
lol, ok. that’s all for now. i’ll check in next week.
*smooches*