so lil baby needed a break break…baby is me, i am baby. i took a week off of work and focused solely on myself. 10/10 would recommend! it was amazeballs!
i was going through it man. it was heavy, sad, depressing, scary, all things negative. BUT i acted on it quick aF. i shut down any & everything that was making my heart race & my mind run laps. prayerfully, my tribe is strong af and close af, lol. i only drove 4 miles to get some help. i had a full breakdown day, which i thought would magically cure me, but alas…here i am sad afuckinggain. at least it’s not the same level. i’m super grateful for that.
i actually took a week off from corporate & regained some stability in my mental.
i…just dk at this point. it’s still the corporate bs that’s still kicking my ass. i know i’m not supposed to be here & i cannot wait to leave!!!! but uhh, i cant just up and quit my job without a fallback plan? my back up plan is…loading, i guess. but every single time i open this work computer i instantaneously feel like shit. like funky granny shit. lmao, it truly sucks!! i’m tired of even explaining it. i just don’t want to feel like this anymore.
SO i’m focusing heavily on my nerdia nadia. i’m giving content, creating like crazy, & moving in new and different spaces that will set me up for greatness. (see how i said “will” instead of hopefully? growth!) even struggling to write this & get back to being consistent with it so i can have my outlet about all of these big changes & sucky stuff. because CHILE, so much is going on from week to week, but also time is hella relative. that fact is a great, but occasionally a daunting one because when things are good, time stops…but when shit is the mfn worst, time also stops lmao. idk if any of this makes any bit of sense!! but hey, i’m trying!
*smooches*